Talking About Trying New Things in the Bedroom

Is your sex life starting to feel a bit... routine? Don’t worry! Many couples find themselves stuck in a pattern over time, and it’s perfectly normal to crave a little more excitement. The good news is that experimenting in the bedroom can reignite passion, deepen intimacy, and even bring you closer as a couple.

But here’s the thing: bringing up the idea of trying something new can be daunting. What if your partner feels offended? What if they think you're dissatisfied? These concerns are common, but with the right approach, you can introduce the topic in a way that feels natural and positive for both of you.

Let’s dive into how you can navigate this conversation and start exploring a world of new possibilities together.

Why Experimenting Matters

Experimenting in the bedroom isn’t about replacing what you have or signaling dissatisfaction. It’s about discovery—both of yourself and your partner. Relationships evolve, and so do our desires. Introducing new elements to your intimate life can:

• Boost Connection: Trying new things together can foster trust and vulnerability.
• Increase Excitement: Novelty activates the brain’s reward centers, heightening arousal and pleasure.
• Enhance Communication: Discussing your desires openly leads to better understanding and deeper intimacy.

Experimenting doesn’t have to mean diving into the deep end of the kink pool. It can be as simple as trying a new position, incorporating a sensory element like blindfolds, or exploring toys that enhance your connection.

1. Setting the Stage for the Conversation

Bringing up the idea of experimentation can feel awkward if you’re not sure how your partner will react. Timing and tone are everything here.

Choose the Right Moment
Avoid springing the conversation on your partner at a random or stressful time. Instead, bring it up when you’re both relaxed, like during a cozy night or a casual conversation about your relationship.

Start with Positivity
Frame the conversation in a way that highlights what you already love about your sex life. For example:

• “I was thinking about how much fun we have together, and I’d love to explore new ways to make things even better.”

By emphasizing what’s already good, you set a positive tone that reassures your partner.

2. Reassure and Validate Your Partner

One common fear is that suggesting experimentation might make your partner feel insecure or inadequate. This is where reassurance is key.

Make it clear that your interest in trying something new isn’t about dissatisfaction but about curiosity and mutual growth. You could say:

• “This isn’t about replacing what we have—it’s about adding something new for both of us to enjoy.”
• “I think we could have a lot of fun trying something different together.”

Reassuring your partner helps them feel secure and excited rather than defensive or worried.

3. Be Honest and Direct

Once you’ve set a positive and reassuring tone, it’s time to be clear about what you’re interested in exploring. Vague hints can lead to confusion, so be upfront about your desires while remaining sensitive to your partner’s feelings.

For instance:

• If you’re curious about using toys, you might say: “I’ve heard a lot of great things about couples exploring toys together. What do you think about trying one sometime?”
• If you’re interested in a new position, you could say: “I saw this position in an article, and it sounds really fun. Maybe we could try it out together?”

4. Encourage Your Partner to Share Their Desires

Experimentation shouldn’t be a one-sided conversation. A healthy sexual relationship involves mutual satisfaction, so make sure your partner has the chance to express their fantasies or interests.

Ask open-ended questions like:

• “Is there anything you’ve ever been curious about trying?”
• “What do you think we could do to make things even more exciting?”

Listen without judgment. Even if their desires are different from yours, showing genuine interest creates a safe space for open communication.

5. Address Potential Concerns Together

Your partner might have reservations about trying something new, and that’s okay. Addressing these concerns together can help both of you feel more comfortable.

For example:

• If they’re worried about being judged, reassure them: “This is about us exploring together. There’s no right or wrong—just what feels good for us.”

6. Spice Things Up: Easy Ideas for Experimentation

Not sure where to start? Here are some simple, beginner-friendly ways to add variety to your intimate life:

• New Positions: Shake things up by trying a position you’ve never done before. A quick internet search or a book on intimacy can inspire.
• Sensory Play: Blindfolds, feathers, or temperature play (like using warm massage oil or a cool ice cube) can heighten your senses and make each touch more electrifying.
• Couples’ Toys: Incorporating toys can be a game-changer. For example:
  • LELO Lily 3 Personal Massager: A discreet and powerful massager perfect for enhancing shared moments.
  • Je Joue Mio Vibrator Ring: A sleek, wearable ring that adds extra stimulation for both partners.
• Roleplay or Fantasy Exploration: Act out a fun scenario or dive into a shared fantasy to bring new excitement to your connection.
• Erotic Games: Try board games or dice games designed for couples—they’re a playful way to break the ice and discover new ideas together.

7. Keep Communication Open

Experimenting in the bedroom isn’t a one-and-done conversation. As you try new things, continue to check in with your partner to ensure you’re both comfortable and enjoying the experience.

You could say:

• “How did that feel for you?”
• “Was there anything you didn’t enjoy or would like to try differently next time?”

These conversations build trust and help you refine what works best for both of you.

8. Embrace the Awkwardness

Let’s be real—trying something new can sometimes feel a little awkward. Maybe a position doesn’t work quite the way you imagined, or a toy takes some getting used to. That’s okay!

The key is to approach experimentation with a sense of humor and playfulness. Laughing together can make the experience even more intimate. Remember, it’s about having fun and connecting—not perfection.

Final Thoughts: A Journey Worth Taking

Experimenting in the bedroom is about more than just spicing up your sex life—it’s an opportunity to learn more about yourself and your partner, strengthen your bond, and keep your relationship fresh and exciting.

The first step is starting the conversation. With open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to explore, you and your partner can create a shared journey of discovery that brings you closer than ever before.

So, what are you waiting for? Start the conversation, take it slow, and enjoy the journey. The possibilities are endless, and the rewards are worth it.